An Intense Focus

You know...having a daughter is probably the most humbling and amazing circumstance that I have ever had in my life. From day one she has captivated my heart and all of my attention. She is by far the most important person in my life. I always thought after meeting Melissa that I could love no one more than I love her. I don't know if it is that I love Magdalene more (I hate saying that I love any human more than my wife) or if it is just different. I think the safe way to go is to say that I love them differently. In saying that I avoid the false connotation that I do not love Melissa as much as I do. I mean...seriously...I would die for either one of them in the blink of an eye.

There is just something different with Maggie. I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe it is the fact that she is really the amazing result of the love that Melissa and I have. Maybe it is that every time I look at Magdalene...I see her mother. Maybe it is that every time I look at Magdalene and see how happy she is I see how happy we are. Maybe it is that every time I hear her I am breathless and in awe of the miraculous blessing that God has placed in our lives. Maybe...just maybe...when I look in her beautiful eyes I find myself looking at the majesty of God.

Over the past four months, I have learned a lot about God. Most of the time this comes from the emotions and revelations I have when I consider and understand my relationship to her. But over the past couple of weeks, Magdalene has taught me something new. It is not about how God feels about us or how much he loves us. This time it is about how we relate to God. It is a lesson about the relationship from the side of the sinner.

Like always, Maggie has been doing this thing that melts my heart every time. It can happen at pretty much any time. She will stare. She will sit in her mother's lap or in the corner of the couch and stare. The lesson that I found is in what she stares at. She stares at me. I mean right at me. There is no question what she is looking at. She does not blink. She does not turn away. She is intently focused on my face. As if she is trying to see into my soul...she just stares. I have tried on a number of occasions to have a staring contest...but she always wins. She is good.

She just sits there and is intensely focused on her father's face. It makes me think about how we too should be focused on our Father's face. The face is the reflection of one's character and their personality. We do not judge people's personality by their feet or their hands...but rather by their face. Throughout Scripture the face of God is used in a way to signify the presence of God or the character of God. This is not always the case...but sometimes to refer to the face of God is to refer to the presence and character of God.

We do well to intensely focus on our Father. To look into His face is to understand who He is and learn from Him. As Maggie focuses on me, she will also try to mimic the movements of my mouth and the sounds if I exaggerate them for her. She is learning from me because she is focused on me. How often is it that we are in a position to look into the face of God but fail to do so. All we have to do is turn away from whatever it is that is taking our time and turn our heads toward Him. Who knows...maybe we will learn something. Maybe we will become more like Him because we will begin to mimic His character and His personality. Maybe, a mere child can teach us all something about our relationship to our Father and how we should interact with Him. It is not enough to simply glance at our Father. Instead, our focus on our Father should be one of intensity and determination...where we do not blink.