July 24th. That was the last time I posted on my blog. My how time flies by.Speaking of time...I just turned 29 years old. Now...first of all...I know that 29 is not old. However, I did discover that I am aging. I think it finally hit me. I have always acted...well...more immature than my age suggested I should but have never noticed any problems with that. That is...until last week.
My family and I took a vacation to go camping at the Warren Dunes in Michigan (where I spent many vacations growing up). It was a beautiful week. One in which we hiked, went to the beach, etc. One day we even hiked over 6 miles up and down hills. Melissa had a backpackers pack on with all the beach stuff and I have Maggie on my back. Yet, we still made the trek without any major problems. After that...I still felt young and fresh.
The problem came when I attempted to go down one of the sand dunes. You see, when I was little we used to run down the hill as fast as we could. Many times the only way to stop was to fall down and roll through the sand at the bottom. As I started down the hill
I noticed very quickly that my knees really did not want to do it. At least not like I used to.It was this moment that I noticed that I had grown up. I was no longer the young kid that would spend all his time running up and down that hill. I am 29 years old. I am married. I have a child. I have a full-time job. I have responsibilities and stresses. Things just aren't like they used to be. And...I think a part of me died. I was bummed that I would never be that person again. The care-free child that could run up and down any hill whenever he wanted without a concern in the world.
I grew up with this as the greatest place in the world. It was my favorite place to go. And...my favorite thing to do there was to run down this hill. Now...I stood just a short distance from the top...hit with the realization that I will probably never run like that down this hill again. Standing there...looking down the hill I had spent so much time on...a part of me died that day.
That all happened on day one. No one else was around. I had just taken off to climb the hill that evening because I missed it so much and I left a part of me there. But a funny thing happened over the rest of the week.
That week I began to notice something. I was sharing with my wife and child the place that I had loved for so many years. I had a chance to tell all the stories of all that had happened over the years with my family. My family! Suddenly I realize that I have grown up and I was a new man.
You see...I always wanted to be just like my dad. I made life decisions and moves to be like him. Over this week...as I looked at my family I realized that while we are still very different...we have the greatest thing in common. We have families. I have a little girl to share things like the Warren Dunes with. I have a daughter I can show how to pick a good walking stick for hiking. I have a sweet angel of a child who will learn from me like I learned from my dad.
So...this week a lot of me died. Sure...I still act more immature and childish than my age would suggest...but that won't change. But...with death comes life. And I guess...after all of this...I see a little more clearly what it means to die to myself.
I recall the words from the Gospel of Luke that state, "If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24)
If we want to become something more (in my story...a father, a husband, a man) we have to, in a way, die to ourselves. We have to do away with our "childish ways" as Paul puts it and life into something else.
It is all about being transformed. Transformed into something more...something better...something new. As we seek to follow Christ...it is the same story. We want to be like Him and we strive to live as He lived. However...if we truly want this to happen...we have to be willing to do away with some of those 'old' things.
So...I will never sprint down that hill again. But...that is okay. Because I get to share it with my little girl...and that is far greater than anything else.
In the same way...I will never go out and do the things I did in College. But...that is okay. Because I get to share Jesus Christ with my little girl...and that is far greater than anything else.
